Gory details below…

As you all know, I can only go into labor when it snows. I had decided ahead of time that I would leave for the hospital once I was actually in pain, with the intention of arriving at the hospital at around 6 or 7 inches of dilation. I had contractions all day long on New Years Eve and New Years Day. I started having regular contractions at around 11pm on the 1st, but were they were not painful so we waited. At 1:30 am they started to hurt and at 3:00 am my water broke. We got ready to go to the hospital and once my dad arrived to stay with Matilda we were on our way. We had a great ride in the car to the hospital. We listened to music and sang songs and really enjoyed the moment.

Triage at the hospital was a nightmare as usual. There were idiots in the waiting room and the triage room was disgusting. I am glad I had my ipod to drown out the sounds. I had to be hooked up to a fetal monitor and lie on my back for the initial assessment. A baby-faced resident came along and examined me and reported that I was already fully dilated — and that my doctor was with another patient and could not attend my birth. I started to panic and got completely hysterical. Things were not going to plan. I was scared and in pain and decided to request an epidural. I was told that the anesthesiologist was busy and that I would not be able to get an epidural either by some random doctor who decided she was going to deliver my baby.

Thankfully, we were only in triage for around 30 minutes. They wheeled me into a labor room (bumping my stretcher against the walls) and checked my cervix again. This time, I measured 8 cm dilation. Either my fear caused reverse dilation or the first resident was wrong. They called the anesthesiologist but he was still busy. I was feeling very sorry for myself. I had a crappy labor and delivery nurse, a strange and inexperienced obstetrician and no help with the pain. The lights were too bright and I could hear women screaming in other rooms. It was miserable.

Then I was informed that Dr. Bradley, another OB from my doctor’s office was coming in to deliver the baby! I was so comforted to see a familiar face. Pablo got me concentrating on breathing and I started to get the pain under control. I still wanted an epidural and the doctor and nurse were running around trying to get the anesthesiologist. Pablo and I were alone in the labor room together for just about the whole time.

Pablo was an amazing coach who helped me to conquer my fear and anger and to breathe and visualize my way through the contractions. We recalled how Jocelyn, who helped us with Matilda’s birth, taught me to breathe and say “ohm” for my contractions and we fell into doing that again. With each contraction, I allowed myself to experience the pain and visualized expanding circles of energy, or climbing up the side of a mountain. During prenatal yoga, they make you do a squat for a full minute to train yourself to deal with the discomfort. So I did what I did during yoga and I tried to think about Matilda doing cute and funny things. It actually helped me to smile during some of the contractions! I held on tight to Pablo for each contraction. He is surprisingly not covered in bruises. He put lavender oil on my forehead and neck and I was able to close my eyes and be somewhere else. I started to be able anticipate the rhythms of the contractions and could begin my deep breathing and ohming before the contractions began.

After 30 minutes of really hard labor, I felt something shift. My water came gushing out and suddenly the pain was replaced with a rush of energy. I had fully dilated and I had an incredibly strong urge to bear down. Pablo and I were alone — the nurse and doctor were still trying to chase down the anesthesiologist for me. I instinctively started pushing and by the time the doctor came in, the baby was already crowning. I put my hand down and felt the top of the baby’s head start to emerge. The doctor instructed me to keep pushing harder and harder and started massaging my perineum to stretch me out. I wasn’t even able to wait for a contraction, I just needed so badly to push. I felt the baby’s entire head emerge. My body’s urgency was just unreal by that point. It was all on autopilot. In the next push I felt the shoulders and I knew that in just one more push I would be holding my baby. I recall going crazy with that last push and I finally felt the baby come out. The urgency actually continued until I had birthed the placenta and finally, my body rested.

The experience of pushing was amazing. I cannot use the word pain to describe it at all (though, it was not orgasmic as some women have described). The whole labor was mind blowing and except for a couple of moments where I was angry about doctors and anesthesiologist and my idiot nurse asking me the date of my last menstrual period, I was totally in control. Pablo helped me to remember how the fear creates the pain, and I just took each contraction one at a time. I didn’t dwell on how many seconds long a contraction was, or how many centimeters dilation I had acheived. I was able to just be a woman in labor. I was also able to be in whatever position I wished for the whole labor (mostly on my side, because it was the position that actually did not make the labor go faster). I pushed the baby out while lying on my side as well, with Pablo holding my leg up and the nurse holding my other leg out — to optimally open my pelvis.

I feel so lucky that I got to experience such a wonderful birth. I had 5 superficial stitches (that will dissolve). When I look back, I wish I had know that the pushing part would not hurt — I think I would have been less afraid. Dilating from 8 to 10 cm was the part that is painful, and for me, it took around 1 hour. I think an hour of intense pain to avoid all the medical complications that come with an epidural was worthwhile, but then again, every woman is different. I do have to admit however, that I am glad that I will not be having any more babies!

I am having a rather tough recovery. I have learned that the post-delivery uterine contractions are really bad with your second delivery and I am in intense menstrual-like pain. I am taking 600gms of Ibuprofen and its not helping much. I also am very achy in my joints and exhausted.